Something was different in today’s class. I was looking good to myself but smehow didn’t dance so well.

I know I am doing it yet again – burdening myself with expectations. But how do I deny the fact that I like to be the best? That I like the kind of attention people get when they’re good? I guess the only way is discipline.

And dance.

Dance and not bother about anything else?

Will I ever be able to do that?

Will I make it to the Delhi group?

Will I be able to smile if I don’t?

I think my dance is getting lost in the lanes of my mind. I must do something…


I have not got ANY time to practice this week 😦

I must say I am beginning to REALLY enjoy my classes. Last class was awesome!

What I like most about Ashley’s classes is his really thorough warmup. I am not worried about any injury since they really take care. Apart from Ash there are two other trainers – Vikram and Kamakshi, and they are super.

This time the class was faster: after revision we learnt the pirouettes – quarter turn, half turn and full turn. It was difficult but I am sure will not be much to grasp with practice. Then there was an interesting exercise where he aske us to walk in stly towards the mirror in horizontal rows, and pretend that we’re really hot. This was just a prestep to the actual jazz walk I guess.

I must admit I was a bit conscious but then I decided: what the heck! After that it was GREAT FUN. We also learnt some new steps and tried them faster this time. Hmm… I didn’t do well but I guess I wasn’t so bad either!

I will practice what I’ve learnt and let’s see what can I manage…

Next class: Wednesday…

I don’t know how to express what I felt, but it wasn’t bad. I am saying that sice I had expected it to be not-so-good. Why? well reasons are many. Most since I am scared to come out in the open and look stupid. There are always better looking, better dancing people around and the make my confidence go low.

I reached hald and hour late, and missed the warm up. Since it was a class of 30+ people and I was late, I was standing right at the back. Which mean I could hardly see Ashley.

But still, somewhere it wasn’t so bad. I think I did OK. I couldn’t do all the steps but Ash made all of us feel better than what we were feeling. Personally, I think I did well. I realised that if I want to dance, I just have to dance. Not look at people around. Just me. And yes, have the grace to accept people and accept that they are better than me.

Ash also recounted incidents of him feeling intimidated when he was teaching in a balle school. I think it helped coz I am open to the idea right now. I think if I pay attention to what he said, I will be fine.

“Don’t look left, don’t look right : Look Straight.” I think for me this statement meant much more than just its physical manifestation. I just need to look at me.

And I will honestly try…

Today we have the class at 7:45 and I am going to make it in time.

Sore muscles teach much more about the importance of warmup than anything else 🙂

Today is going to be my first class.  I am nervous even as I write this. Why? Coz I will be taking my first dance steps with 35 other people! Well… what I am really happy about is that it’s Ashley – someone I have always wanted to train under: since my college days.

When I met him yesterday, it was almost like a dream come true. And what a wonderful person he is. I don’t think anybody has been able to inspire me in three minutes flat! One of the thoughts he left me was, “Life does not have to be about ‘either’ ‘or’ – it works better with an ‘and’…” – something that actually triggered a thought process about where I want to take myself. All I can say, I am happy I could meet him, and his WONDERFUL wife Remnika. She’s a darling! For me it’s all about the vibes. And I think I’m in the right place. Some of my dreams are smiling.

The best part is, Asley will be teaching himself. Lucky, are we? What I’ll be learning is called ‘Street Jazz’, cool eh?

So come 6: 30 and off I am to wonderland…


November 2017
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